The pathways I intend to explore in this book took shape as a result of my personal experience. Little by little I came to understand the vital relationship there is between psychology and faith.
I come from a Catholic family, which, however, through my childhood and adolescence, was not a practicing one. When I was about nine and again at the age of fourteen, I took some important steps of faith: I had an encounter with Christ. From that time on the spiritual dimension seemed to be the only one which could provide meaning to my life, but I was totally ignorant as to the psychological level.
My career as a lawyer, which I pursued in Morocco, where I was born, occupied most of my time. It was the arena in which I endeavored to live my faith, inspired by the life of Ghandi, who, in the same profession, had taken a vow to act in accordance with truth, and whose political commitments were carried through in the spirit of the Beatitudes. I was part of a team which was active in favor of reconciliation between the Muslim, Jewish and Christian communities which live alongside each other in Morocco. Later, I became committed with other believers to sharing a simple life and choosing non-violence; in this way I sought to integrate my faith into my life.
With the passing of the years I found myself in the midst of an internal crisis, with problems that prayer could not resolve. It was beyond understanding and brought me to despair.
During this time I was living in a small community in the far south of Morocco, and a doorway began to open. I confided in a priest who was passing through, telling him of my powerlessness to overcome a relationship blockage. He told me that it was useless to work at things on the basis of the symptoms, and that the epicentre of my difficulty lay elsewhere and that it was up to me to uncover it. This was an incredible encouragement to me: there was a way out, and I was not condemned to wander indefinitely. I became aware of an unexplored land within, and so began to discover the psychological dimension of my life. I underwent psychotherapy, but was so poorly equipped in my faith that for a time I put it on hold. The psychological arena seemed to me at that time to be the only secure ground.
Two years later a sensible move brought me back in touch with Christian groups and I came to Chalon-sur-Sâone, to a seminar conducted by George and Victoria Hobson of the Episcopalian Church (the American branch of the Anglican Church). The theme was “inner healing.” I was hearing this term for the first time and to me it seemed full of good sense, bringing a new direction to, and a lively, vital understanding of the word of God. In the course of the meeting I understood the articulation, the possible and necessary union, between the psychological and spiritual planes. Immediately I realized that I had arrived at port, that I had found what I had been seeking for many years; I still retain an enormous sense of thankfulness to George and Victoria, who opened up this way for me.
I then began my endeavor to live for myself what I had discovered. I enjoyed very deep exchanges with others who were walking the same path. The process of psychotherapy proved irreplaceable; it enabled me to get to know myself, to draw closer to the truth about myself, to bring into the light the knots I had tied in myself or had allowed to become established over the course of my life. This was the beginning of a great reestablishment of order and meaning.
Month by month, the psychological area fell into place and the spiritual was restored too. Every day my faith became more true, alive, deeply rooted and also more humble. However, at some points, particularly when it came to guilt, I remained bound, oppressed. Nevertheless I had a certainty that the word of Jesus which announces liberty to the captives had to be fulfilled in my life.
It was at this time that I discovered that the Holy Spirit is truly alive and at work in me, as he is in each human person, and that I had to learn to collaborate with him.
I had become aware that the psychological and physical planes needed to open onto the spiritual. The wrong paths I had taken had not only to be explored on the psychological level, but constituted transgressions of the fundamental laws of life, the laws of God which I had misconceived ; I had been living according to entirely false notions about suffering, expiation, and reparation, and had been making God a God of condemnation. I saw my responsibility clearly and the choice I had either to be imprisoned in my past or find a pathway of life.
To adhere to the word of life meant that I had to change direction, to quit my destructive ways, to learn the ways of life that the word was showing me. In God’s grace, I experienced that this was possible, and thus discovered what to do with all I had learned through psychotherapy.
The process never ends and some fragilities remain, but there is a source of deep peace because the way forward is clear; the word of God takes on fuller and fuller meaning, always accompanied by the power of the Spirit.
In 1987, Sister Minke, prioress of the community of the Sisters of Grandchamp in Switzerland (a monastic community of sisters from a Reformed background), asked me to give some teaching on the ways of inner healing, the evangelization of our depths. With this starting point, little by little, with the prayerful and vigorous participation of the Sisters of Grandchamp, we have developed an annual cycle of three sessions in which teaching, group sharing, individual mentoring and personal time alternate. These cycles are now held in France and at Grandchamp, which remains the foundational place for our team as well as our prayer bulwark.
The courses are run by an ecumenical group in an association named Bethasda.[1] Together we reflect, pray and work unceasingly, willing to spend and be spent.
I would like to express here my debt of gratitude to Marie-Madeleine Laurent, psychologist. It is thanks to her reflections, her experience and her competence that I have been led to ponder the themes of human limitations, the drive to omnipotence, the burying of emotions, violence, the maternal and paternal functions of God’s love, covetousness and competitiveness.[2] I take up these different themes which we have developed in common, and, while holding to their key ideas, I develop them in my own way, according to my own specifics. Other clinical psychologists have joined our association, sharing their competencies with us. They have helped us not to “drift”, but to head on in the right direction. The same is true when it comes to theology.
[1] Bethasda, Île-de-France, B.P.5292, 78175 Saint-Germain-en-Laye Cedex.
[2] Convoitise and rivalité. Convoitise could also be translated as “envy”.(Trans.)